


Bleeding Asphodel

by ACHumayra



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AU, Alan Rickman - Freeform, Alternate Universe, Confession, Confusion, Dating, Fanfiction, Good Severus Snape, Harry Potter - Freeform, Hurt, Lily Evans - Freeform, Lily Evans Potter & Severus Snape Friendship, Love, Mr and Mrs evans, Pain, RIP Alan Rickman, Romance, Second Chance, Snily, Sorrow, Spontaneity, harry potter fanfiction, jk rowling - Freeform, otp, partners, snape amd lilly fanfiction, snape and lilly, snily fanfiction
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-16
Updated: 2017-06-09
Packaged: 2018-09-08 21:26:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8862718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ACHumayra/pseuds/ACHumayra
Summary: She was his moon. His light in the dark. She was all he had. He couldn't lose her. This isn't a love story, but a story about love. 
An AU in which Severus and Lily get their second chance.





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first story. Hope you enjoy. XXX

Mixed feelings of fury and sympathy bubbled within Lily Evans chest as she marched across the grounds. She had seen the commotion from by the lake, where she and a group of friends where unwinding after their DADA OWL had taken place that afternoon. James potter and his little group of friends had taken to making every minute of Severus's life a misery. What they had against him, Lily had no idea, but she wasn't going to watch her best friend be tormented like that. Green eyes glinting dangerously, she pushed herself in to the crowd, now surrounding Severus's frozen body. "Impedimenta." she thought to her self. Arriving at the centre of the throng, she caught sight of James potter with his right wing man Sirius Black, both wands out and both roaring with laughter. Furrowing her brows, she pushed through the students and shouted "LEAVE HIM ALONE!" She saw James potter whip around to face her, and for a second he seemed to have forgotten that he was in the middle of displaying his magical prowess, and said "Alright, Evans?"   
Lilly bubbled with anger. How dare he! She knew he had a thing for her but she was repulsed by the very idea of being near James potter. The arrogant quidditch star, supposedly one of the most attractive popular boys in the school longed for her, but she didn't care. He had the morality and manners of a troll and she wasn't interested. "leave him alone!" She demanded, once again. "what's he done to you?" She hoped the disgust she was feeling was evident in her face. James, clearly intent on appearing deliberate replied, much to the support of sirius, "It's more the fact he exists, if you know what I mean..." James recoiled at the look Lily gave him next, as she coldly threw his way what she thought. "You think you're funny, but you're just an arrogant bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him alone!" She looked up at Severus, struggling to remain calm whilst everything played out beneath him. His raven black locks swam under his bright red face, and he wriggled around trying to escape the charm placed on him. Seeing him in that pitiful situation hurt Lily. He was the little part Lily had left, that truly made her feel special and happy. Sev was her childhood and still was a big part of her life. "I will if you go out with me." She heard James drawl out. Lily felt repulsed and remarked "i wouldn't go out with you, if it was a choice between you and the giant squid!" She heard Sirius mutter something to James as he looked a little crestfallen, but lily had nearly enough by now. But before she could say anything or do anything, Severus managed to escape from the bounds James and casted on to him and lashed out with his wand. Blood gushed out of a wound on James's face as Sirius roared in fury and shouted "levicorpus!" The next thing that happened was Severus was hanging upside down from his foot as his robes slid down his lean frame, to reveal his skinny legs and greying under pants. Lily protested again but to some avail this time as James met her request by letting Snape down. However the moment he touched the ground and untangeled himself from his robes, he snatched up his wand to retaliate but Sirius was too quick for him, and a cry of "petrificis totalus" went up as Severus turned as rigid as a plank and dropped to the ground. For the hundredth time that time, Lily shouted "Leave him alone!" Bit this time she snatched out her wand and pointed it at Sirius and James. "ah, Evans. Don't make me hex you!" Came the response.   
"Then take the curse of him!" Lilly protested.   
James and Sirius exchanged glances then James muttered the counter curse and Snape landed in a heap on the floor, scarlet with embarrassment and shaking with anger.   
"you're lucky Evans was here, snivellus" sneered James.   
Severus opened his mouth...


	2. 2

Severus opened his mouth but nothing came out. For a few seconds, word failed him, as anger and humiliation rendered him speechless. Lily saw the internal conflict Severus was enduring: Either fight with potter and acquire his vindication, or quietly walk away and heal from this encounter. She pained at the look in his eyes and decided she wasn't going to let him make that decision. Striding past potter and Sirius she reached the place where Severus was still crouching and placed her hands on his shoulder and muttered quietly "come on Sev, let's get out of here." Severus looked up in to her emerald eyes and Lilly looked back in to the black. For a moment something rose within the pits of his tunnel like eyes, but it soon died away. Lowering his head, Severus picked himself up and turned around. Mustering the most cold and dirty look she could, Lily glared and James and made her way after Severus. 

"Are you okay?" Lily asked not for the first time that evening.   
"I'm fine, lily!" Came the reply just as before. Despite his reassurance that he was fine, Lily still felt uneasy around Severus. Not because he had indicated in any way, but because she always had a way of reading Severus. She knew when something bothered him. Catching sight of her troubled face, Severus looked her in the eye and smiled. "Thank you, Lily...for everything.". Lily knew he wasn't just referring to the incident that had taken place earlier.   
"Don't be silly, Sev. You're my best friend!".   
A smile brightened Severus's face and he leant forward to hug her, when suddenly he grimaced. This involuntary display of pain was not missed by Lily as she narrowed her eyes and pierced Severus with a menacing gaze. "Severus Tobias Snape! I know for a fact that you are supporting a physical injury and if you don't disclose to me the finer details of this injury then I will be in fact making an addition to your injury. Do you understand me?"  
"It's fi-" Severus was about to respond, when he thought better of it and sighed deeply. "when potter dropped me, I landed on my back. I think I must have done something to it..its nothing really-"  
"I'll be the judge of that!" Remarked lily as she stood up from the bed she was sitting on and advanced towards Severus. Severus looked taken aback. "Huh...what do you mean! You cant see it!" A dull pink colour was rising in Severus's hollow cheeks as Lily raised her eyebrows.   
"What's wrong Severus. Why can't i see your back?" Lily knew that he was quite shy, but he had never been this shy before.   
"It's nothing really!" Snape protested but to of no avail. Lily walked over to Severus and sat down next to him. He made to stand up but a Look from lily made him sit back down. He unbuttoned the collar of his robes downwards until his blouse was exposed. Then he stole a glance back at Lily, who then turned around to give him space. His fingers felt around for the buttons of his blouse and what felt after an age he had removed his blouse but kept it gathered in front of him, in order to cover his entire front. Only his back was exposed. Clearing his throat to catch lily's attention he turned his back to her. Lily slowly turned around. At first glance she saw the huge bruising situated in the left corner of his back. It looked painful and was vivid against Severus's pale skin. Taking a deep breath lily reached out her fingers and traced out the bruise. Severus winced but stayed quiet. "is...is there anything wrong, Lily?" He asked tentatively.   
"you have some bruising. Nothing serious I hope, just some bumps and cuts." Severus made to get up and out his shirt back on, when he realized that Lily's hands were still inspecting his back, and he stayed where he was. A minute would have passed by, or an hour, yet both remained still, listening to each others breathing, lily still enthralled by his back. That was until clunking noises became apparent and both Lily and Severus jumped out of their daze. They were in the slytherim common room. Severus had sneaked lily in whilst everyone was out for dinner. "Oh no!" Lily cried. Severus quickly got up and pulled his robed haphazardly across his chest and he grabbed lily by the arm and told her to follow him in an hushed tone. Lily was anxious. Being dixovered in the slytherin boys dormitories was not something she was keen on experiencing. Severus was leading her to an old robe cupboard at the end of the dorm. He then told her to get in. She abided. The doors closed in her face and she stayed still not daring to move. She then heard a door open and close, the sound of a commotion and a loud bang! Before she knew what was happening, a hand yanked her out of the cupboard and through a door and passed a room coated with dense black smoke, obscuring everything. Through another door they went and lily found herself outside the slytherin Common room with her arm in but Severus's grasp.   
"what happened?" She asked.   
"I made a diversion, so I could get you out quickly." He explained.

Lily nodded to show her understanding. Suddenly she realised her arm was still in Severus's hands, when Severus let go.   
An very slight awkwardness' could be felt, but Lily brushed it away. Friendship like hers and Severus's could not afford awkwardness. Not when friendship was one of the only things each had.


	3. 3

 

_d_ Slowly, the exam term began drawing to an end and the fifth year students could be seen, engaging in light hearted humor, as the holidays grew closer, and the stress of examinations walked away. Lily was walking through the corridors, her head bowed from the incoming crowds, possibly to hide her face, but it was in vain. Her eyes prickled as specks of tears clouded her vision. "No, don't cry!" she urged herself. Sniffling she hugged the wet letter in her hands to her chest and squeezed her eyes shut. Taking several deep breaths she decided to find Severus. She began searching for him. He wasn't in his usual spot at the library, nor was he skulking near the dungeons. She had tried asking some fifth year slytherin girls if they knew he was in the common room, but they had merely sneered at her. After 20 minutes of searching for him she gave up and approached the library and sat down at a desk. To avoid suspicion from the librarian she grabbed a book from the nearby shelf and opened it at a random page. She could hear someone behind the bookshelf she was sitting at turning the pages of their book. In fact, in her solitude she heard the scratching of a quill, from a person sitting a few shelves away, the crackling of the flame from the candles mounted all across the walls of the library. Her eyes began to grow heavy. She was tired she realized. "sleep, sleep" her body was asking, no, protesting for sleep. Pin pricks of her tears threatened to come out again, but before they could fall, she was lost to the world of blissful sleep. "Lily. Lily!" Lily moaned. Who was rousing her and why. Surely she had just put her head down. "Lily! Come on. Madame pince is coming!" Who? Madame pince? With a sudden rush of realization, lily snapped awake and remembered that she was in the library. Looking across, she saw Severus staring at her, his eyes blank, but his thin mouth curved upwards in to a disparaging smile. Before he could make a sarcastic remark, lily quickly got up and put her book away. Severus simply watched her. As they made their way from the library, Severus opened ha mouth, but before he could utter anything, came the warning from Lily. "don't, just don't Sev!" Severus looked straight at her, a smile playing at his lips. She stared back. A few seconds passed then the pair burst in to laughter. All of a sudden, it came back to lily; why she wanted to find Sev, why she was so desperate to have his companionship. This realisation must have wiped the laughter off her face, because Severus then asked "What's wrong Lily?" His eyebrows knitted together in concern. A single tear made it's way down lily's face and landed on the piece of paper she still had clutched to her hand. Severus followed his eyes to the letter and lily extended it, and indicated he should read. His hands now trembling in trepidation, Severus took the letter, unfolded it and began to read. It read: " Dearest Lily, it pains me to say, that your father has sustained a very severe case of pancreatic cancer. The doctors at the hospital are unaware of how to deal with it, because it is quite late. nevertheless he is suffering from it. Unfortunately, dear, I too have contracted a fever. It was only to be expected. Because of it's severity I have been bedbound and poor petunia has had to work all day and night to look after us. The doctors are at odds with what to do. There is no cure that they think will work in the present condition for your father. Darling, I won't pretend. Your father and I have little time left. We are old and we have seen quite alot of life to know that these things happened and there is nothing we can do and it pains me to have to tell you, especially at such a critical time in your life. I do hope you can forgive us. This summer may very well be the last we spend with you. I tell you this because I know you are strong and you will keep your head up and carry on. Endless love Your mother" "Lily..."


	4. 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hallo. At this stage on the story, before any definitive story line or plot is established, I have quite a bit of flexibility with the characters. If there is any scene or moment you want to see with any of the characters, then please leave a comment and I will see what I can do. Thanks.

At long last the summer holidays arrived and with them relief and a fair share of anxiety too, as the fifth years and seventh years expected to be greeted with their OWLs and NEWTs results sometimes in the holiday. Lilly Evans however hurried around collecting her belongings', in a rather sullen state of mind. Her eyes were puffy despite her extensive efforts to cover her bags up with makeup. "this is it, the last summer" she was of course referring to the tragedy of news she had received not long before. Her parents were both terminally ill and this would most likely be the last summer she would see them. Still she tried to brace herself and maintain her composure. The last thing she needed was to break down. At last, when she had packed everything, she dragged her trunk to the other side of her bed, drew the curtains around her four poster bed and stood at the end, her hands clutching each other at her chest, as though she were in some sort of prayer. She stayed like that for a while, and then walked to the dormitory door. The moment she opened the door she heard laughter and noises of cheerfulness' and joy. No doubt James potter and his friends where entertaining everyone in light of the approaching holidays. Just as everyone let out bellows of laughter, James raised his head to the girls dormitory and caught sight of Lily. She avoided his gaze and walked down the stairs and directly across the common room to the entrance. Ignoring his call, she climbed in to the hole and left the gryfindor common room. There was still some time left before the train would come and she wanted to find Severus. She wanted to talk to him about the holidays. Walking her way to the slytherin common room, she began to think about her friendship with Severus. She knew that he was her bestest friend and she loved hm very deeply. He introduced her to the magical world and he befriended her despite her being muggleborn. She knew that he came from an emotional and physically abusive home, but he was STILL willing to extend his hand and heart to a little adored and loved girl, as he was on the day he met her. That was a lot to be said, especially since slytherins were supposed to naturally dislike Gryffindor's. 

As she approached the slytherin common room, she tapped on the entrance knocker and was greeted by a voice asking for the password. She and Severus had discovered a while ago that asking the portrait for a specific person within the common room summoned that person, so lily spoke and said "I wish to see Severus Snape." Barely fifteen seconds later, Severus climbed out of the slytherin entrance and stood next to lily. Her plastered on smile could not disguise her inner state to Severus and without a word he clutched her hand and walked away. They walked up to the seventh floor. Both knew they were headed to one of their favourite places; the owlery. 

A few corridor's away, Lily could no longer hold her burden and she burst in to tears. Severus's eyes widened and looking horrified he automatically clutched lily to his chest, his arms wrapped around her shaking body. "Oh Sev, I can't take it" she sobbed hysterically in his arms. Severus could feel a lump in his throat. He couldn't take lily beng upset. Even when they were younger, he was the troubled one. He was so used to lily being the sensible one, helping him out.  
His first instinct was to get her some place private. He held lily and started walking across the corridor desperately thinking that he needed to get her some place comforting, in order to calm her down. Suddenly a large pair of doors appeared on the wall opposite a large tapestry. Severus dragged her up to it and yanked open the door to find a desolate room, dimly lit with comfortable looking arm chairs and a roaring fire. "Perfect!" He thought, as he half dragged a sobbing lily in to the room. The doors automatically closed behind them. He half carried her to an armchair and sat her down. Lily sniffed loudly and looked up. "I'm so sorry Sev. I'm not usually like this, you know, just combusting in to tears all over the place, bu-"  
Severus Interrupted her. "Shh...you don't need to explain yourself Lily. I'm here for you. You are my friend. I'm not going to judge you." If possible, more tears welled up in her eyes. "oh sev, thank god I have you. Heavens know what state I would be in without you. And as for the summer, I have to be strong for my parents!" She started crying again. Severus whished he could offer her a tissue or something, when within seconds, a handkerchief appeared on the table next to them. Amazed but preoccupied with comforting lily he picked it up and he handed it to her. What seemed like a muffled thankyou escaped lily as she bagan to wipe her face and nose. Severus watched her sadly. She was everything to him and seeing her like this broke him. All he could do was rub her head, as she took it out of her system.  
"I could come over, if you like...that is if you don't mind."  
Lily looked puzzled.  
"To your house. You know just to visit your parents and keep you company...only if you want" Severus added quickly.  
For the first time that afternoon, lily's fave broke out in to a smile and she croaked "I would love that" Severus beamed and felt very happy indeed.  
Lily looked up and asked "where are we?" Severus had thought of that and he had figured it out. "we are in the room of requirement" he echoed in to the empty room.  
Realisation dawned on to lily's face and for the first time she seemed genuinely surprised. “Oh! Well this is quite different to what others have told me!”  
“that's because it's suited to it's users needs. I wanted a place where you could feel calm and voila! This place appeared” Severus stood up and began examining the shelves around the room he had just noticed. There were calming droughts and lace handkerchief's.  
He looked back at lily and said “It's time. Shall we go together?”  
"yes" came the reply.  
As they made their way to the door, Severus muttered more om whim than anything else "we'll be here for each other!"  
Lily said only one word which resonated around the room and lifted Severus's heart.  
“Always.”


	5. Chapter 5

The narrow suburban streets of coke worth basked in the golden blanket of the sun, as it descended in to the void of clouds, masking the horizon and painting the sky a beautiful pink. The hot weather was the main reasons why only the hum of home fans and AC systems were louder than the buzzing and fluttering of bees and wasps who purged the neighbourhood, much to the annoyance of it's inhabitance.  
The atmosphere was peaceful and quiet. All was perfect. All except the internal turmoil of the red headed girl who walked along the road. Lily had decided to exit the bus a few miles away so that she and sev could walk to their homes. Severus had deposited his trunk and school supplies at spinners end and within a flash came back to Lily's side. He stared at the ground, at their reflection, the two lone wolfs, both internally engaged in...pain? Anger? Severus knew that his demons were quite different to Lily's, nevertheless he allowed himself to entertain the delusion that Lily knew...knew the picture of his heart. But that was dangerous indeed. What Severus harboured in his heart for Lily was not just friendship, but love. He didn't know whether it was romantic or placid, but it was the type of love that fulfilled his every need. When he had sat in his bedroom for countless days, scared of leaving, lest his father turn his drunken anger to him, who was his food and drink and comfort? It was Lily. When he thought hogwarts would be his home, because spinners end was only a house to him, and when he found that snatched away by the enmity he was subjected to by James potter, the stigma that surrounded...him? That showered him with disapproval even when nobody took the time to understand him, who took him by the hand but touched his heart? Lily. It's precisely people like Severus who had never tasted the nectar of love, who burn most in its absence that when its sweetness rouses them, their world becomes whole and that's exactly what Lily did to Severus. Absorbed in his thoughts, Severus walked next to the girl upon which his heart depended on. Lily snapped Severus out of his daze by a soft tap on his shoulder. He looked down in to her green eyes and saw tears welling up. Anger raised in her and he knew it was because she didn't want to dissipate in to an emotional mess, not now.  
"It's okay LilY. I'm here." Severus murmured to her, trying to remove the pain from her. In vain though. She angrily wiped her tears and smiled at Severus.  
"Thank you sev, honestly!"  
They bity turned around to face the peeling wooden gate that separated the Evans house from the street. Putting a trembling hand on to the latch, Lily pushed it open and took a tentative step forward. She assumed a stance of indifference, despite the evident turmoil and walked towards the front door. Severus followed her, not saying a word, just watching her take control. Her knocks echoed in the silent street. They waited. 3 seconds, 5 seconds, had anything gone wrong? 7 seconds...when the door handle benr downwards and it slowly swung inwards. An man stood just behind the door, his hands on the shoulders of a shorter woman. Both with green eyes and Lily's distinctive nose. Her parents. Her ill parents. Her limited parents. These where her ghosts now. Her demons. Severus knew he had to help that poor girl overcome this, because he knew pain. No one should cower and die at the hands of their own demons.


	6. 6

an tense affair, mainly due to Petunia's pin drop silence, even after seeing her sister. Severus was flattered at the least to say that she spared him a sneering cold glance, before resuming her deadpan facial expressions and constant pursing of lips. Mr and Mrs Evans were nothing if not anxious. Not because of their unexpected guest, who they welcomed graciously, but because they did not know what to expect from Lily. So far she hadn't said anything, except the usual greetings. But she sat now staring at the now cold steak and kidney pie in her plate, her fork still beside her glass. Her parents looked at each other and then Mrs Evans spoke.   
"Lily, darling. Is everything quite alright?"   
Lily snapped out of her daze and looked up, looking half surprised to see her mother there.   
"oh yes of course. Yes I'm fine. Yes, why wouldn't I be?" She said all too fast to sound convincing.  
Despite this her mother resumed to her plate. After dinner, petunia stood up and stated she had business to attend. She stalked out of the living room and her footsteps were heard going across the hall and up the stairs.   
There was silence. Then Mr Evans sighed and opened his mouth. "Lily dear, I cant take this much longer. I'm sorry if you are upset. I really am.   
and it's alright. Please, talk to us. Please we are not gone yet!" Tears had pooled in his eyes and his face betrayed the hurt he had sustained through his daughters silence. Taking small breaths, lily looked in to her fathers face and said "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, father." She began to gasp. Severus had been sitting next to her and he quickly turned to face her. She was breathing loudly, but nothing too concerning. Severus placed his hands on her back, to comfort her. He felt her relax slightly, but still she looked panicked. Her parents looked at her, looking worried. "I'm sorry mother and father. I just don't know how to go on with this. I don't know what to say to you."   
Mr Evans got up and turned to leave the room. As he reached the door he stopped and said "I think we made a mistake in letting you know." Mrs Evans gasped as lily's eyes widened. Mr Evans walked in to the hall and Mrs Evans rushed over to lily. She grabbed her hands and consoled her.   
"don't worry Lily dear, your father is just a bit upset at the moment. Don't pay any heed to what he says." Lily shook her mothers hands off and got up.   
"I need some air" she proclaimed and followed the path her father took, but this time she exited the house. The sound of the door shutting echoed for a while, before the crouching Mrs Evans got up and sat back down on her armchair. Severus felt extremely uncomfortable. He felt as though he needed to do something. "Mrs Evans..." He began slowly. "I'm really sorry. You mustn't think that lily does not care. She does very much, but she is just trying to be strong..." Severus had nothing more to say. Mrs Evan got up and to Severus's enormous surprise, clenched in him a warm hug. Severus's eyes widened and he heard Mrs Evans sob in to his shoulder. He felt a lot of unsaid things in that hug. Awkwardly he tapped her back but then felt something inside. So this was what it felt like to have a loving mother. To his astonishment, tears pricked at his eyes. Horrified he blinked them away. Why was he getting emotional? He should be feeling like this. Slowly Mrs Evans pulled away and her tear stained face broke in to a watery smile. "oh Severus. I cant thank you got what you do for my daughter. You make her so happy. You make us so happy, because we know you will take care if our daughter when we...when we can't look after her. I ask you one thing Severus." At this point she stared sternly in to Severus's now pale face. He nodded. "don't hurt her or give her any reason to cry. She deserves more than that!" Severus nodded ferverently. Words had failed him but he felt that Mrs Evans understood him. "now you'd better go find my daughter, young man. No one said looking after her was an easy job!" Mrs Evans smiled. Severus got up, grabbed his coat and exited the house. He had an inkling as to where lily might have gone.   
They years had not changed cokeworth much. Aside from the increasing number of houses fitted here and there and the occasional new families, it remained has memory had preserved it for Severus. He found himself walking to particular spot, one which his legs had carried him many times. The park where he first met Lily. That special day, he had watched her, glowing with happiness at the sight of her. That day he will never forget till his dying day. Sure enough as he reached the park, he saw the same mop of red hair on the same rusted old swing. There was no youthful joy in the posture of this girl though. No childhood happiness. Just grief. An internal battle. This is what age did. That is what life did. The more you understand, the harder it was to remain happy. Remain unspoiled. He tentatively took a few steps towards the park which he knew so well. Lily looked up to see his form walking towards her. "I'm sorry. I messed up. I'm so sorry. I just..." She trailed of, not being able communicate any more. Severus could slowly see her façade crumbling. Je had never seen lily broken. If anything she had always been his pillar of strength. His beacon of hope. And now it was up to him to become that pillar and hope for her. "lily its alright. You don't have to be so strong all the time!"   
"But I do!" She shouted suddenly. "Of course k. flipping have to. So what, I become some sort of mess, so idiots like James potter can think me vulnerable and all the other idiots can think I cant fend for myself. I wont...I wont...be weak! I'm strong. I won't let it out...I refuse to...I refuse to, sev!" Tears were pouring down her face and she was sobbing loudly. A sudden anger ruptured through Severus. He rushed forward grabbing her arms. He didn't know why he was shouting but he was. "how dare you Lily. You think you are weak just holding everything in. Just letting the pain kill you, that makes you weak! Don't do that to yourself! Don't you dare Lily! I cant let you do this. No not you!" He could feel tears smiling out of his eyes and his voice going hoarse but he didn't care. "I won't let you lock away your self in this safe. That's all I've done. That's my entire fucking life lily. And all its done is FUCK ME UP! When will you see that the only reason I can survive is because you taught me to open my heart." He quietened down. "let it out Lily. I'm here. You are the only person in the world I will ever need, but if you close yourself up, then who do I have?" Lily began to blink very fast and her lip began to tremble. "I cant!" She said her voice shaking. Severus let go of her arms and picked up her hands. "You will." Suddenly she wrapped her arms around his neck and began to sob. Deep heartfull sobs and tears, filled with pain and anger and worry, all cascaded down Severus's shoulder. She was shaking and gasping and sobbing and paining and it hurt so much. But he was there. Her pillar of support. As she allowed the pain to rip through and the tears to flow, she thought of only one thing. "Severus would the only one to see her like this." And that was good enough for her.   
Severus lifted her head up after a few minutes and stared in to her striking green eyes. "It's time Lily"


	7. 7

It happened quickly and quietly. First her Father. 2 weeks. That's all she had with him, to say goodbye. But lily had moved past that realm of grief, where she pretended all was fine. She accepted what had happened and dealt with her grief. Whatever benefit that did for her, was ruined, when barely 1 week later, her mother left this world, her illness expedited by her heartbreak. In a matter of three weeks, lily lost all the family she knew, apart from petunia, and from her silence, she might as well not have been her sister. Three weeks was all it took to crumble her heart. Severus did what he could, but this was something that she had to do herself. Time would heal her he thought.   
It was a rather cold afternoon and Severus found himself wondering over to lily's house. She had refused to leave her house on account of feeling ill, but Severus knew better. He approached her drive and contemplated knocking on the door. Petunia was in, and he was reluctant to provoke her already tender temper. He made his way round the house and to the back, where he peered along the ivy strewn wall and laid his eyes on Lily's window. There he saw a mop of red hair, strewn across the window pain, and her head slumped against the alcove her window seat was placed on.  
Severus picked up the nearest stone and aimed at her window. As he was about to take his shot, he was interrupted by a curt cough from the garden entrance. There he saw Petunia, armed crossed and, as usual, lips pursed. He gaped for a second, before regaining his composure. “I just wanted to talk with Lily.” He said smoothly.   
“and the front door was out if the option?” she sneered. Before Severus could retort, she blinked furiously and opened her mouth. “do you think me that cruel, to deny my sister companionship. She may be your best friend Severus, but she remains my sister!” Severus found himself gawping for the second time. “Just go.” She said coldly, as Severus quickly rushed around the house and entered through the, now unlocked, front door.   
He had been to Lily's bedroom before, but each time it filled him with a sort of nervous feeling. Perhaps it was his natural dislike for getting close to people acting up. Either way, he felt anxious as he made his way to her room. He stopped outside her door, staring and the floral plaque on her door, engraving her name surrounded by white Lilies'. Taking a deep breath he gently knocked on her door. There was no response. Slowly he grasped the handle turned it and opened her door.   
Just as he had seen, she was slumped across the window seat her faced pressed against the window pain. There was something quite graceful about her composure. Her eyes had hollowed and there was something gaunt and missing about her face. It seemed all the innocent joy of ignorance had left and the harsh reality of acknowledgement and acceptance had replaced it. It is a terrible thing to know death, when one is so full of life.   
He made his way closer to where she was sleeping and whispered "Lily. Lily wake up. Its me, Severus." She must have been sleeping very lightly, as she roused the moment she heard him. For a few seconds she looked rather confused, then as she understood her surroundings she looked up at Severus and quietly said "Walk with me."   
Barely two minutes later, both severus and Lily were walking along a desolate street in cokeworth, Lily's hands casually linked with severus's but he knew it was because these last few days had robbed her of her strength to even walk. He knew that but allowed her to maintain the fiction of her invincibility. She was dressed in an overlarge muggle top and severus in a trench coat that Lily had brought him two summers ago, as an alternative to a small coat he had been wearing for ages.  
"I...I though...dad..." Lily started of rather suddenly.   
"shh, Lily. You don't have to distress yourself!"   
"No!" She said with rather more vigour. "No i need to say this. I need to rise above this and you're the only person in the world i have left severus." He stayed silent. By this time they had walked to the park. No matter what happened this park was where they ended up. It was their beacon of old innocence and now their last refuge for broken hearts.   
"I thought i would be able to be strong. I thought that i would be able to take it. But i couldn't and that's what killed me. I've never known such hurt, and Severus i thought i could rip my beating heart out. I had no escape. Tuney wasn't talking to me, i feared your silence meant you were tired of me, so i barricaded myself in my room and blew up. I've never cried like that. I...i tore at my own skin because i needed to feel something that wasn't the pain of my own heart." Severus moved to hold her hand and she retreated it quickly. "I can't let you see sev, you'll judge me and i can never let you do that."   
"I can never judge you Lily, not while im living and breathing." He carefully drew her arm and lifted the sleeve of her top upwards. He expected to see parallel lines of self loath, but he saw scratches, from where her nails had dug in and tore her skin. This wasn't self loathing, this was a distraction.   
He gently pulled her sleeve down, wiped the tear that was now falling from her lashes and looked in to her emerald eyes. "I'm here, and i will never go."   
She gulped and nodded. Severus put his arms around her and brought her in for a warm hug. Against his chest, she heard her mutter "What i would have done, if you weren't here sev, i don't know."


End file.
